“There’s so much time lost just to embarrass and humiliate me, and now it appears odd why I don’t even compose music any more… I’m afraid of people and the business after what I’ve been through.”
Britney Spears is talking about her lengthy break from music for the first time, and it’s all because of the lack of artistic freedom she had under her conservatorship.
Spears has not performed live since October 21, 2018, when she was part of her Piece of Me tour. She was still under conservatorship at the time; her restricting legal arrangement ended last month after 13 years.
During a June court hearing, the singer compared her experience being forced to work against her will to “sex trafficking,” calling the conservatorship’s terms “abusive.”
She also publicly blasted her father, Jamie, who oversaw her life and finances as her conservator in court, as well as her mother and sister Jamie Lynne, who she claimed did “nothing.”
Following the settlement, Spears has continued to publicly reflect on the difficulties she faced throughout the legal arrangement, stating in July that she had “spent years begging” for creative control in her shows.
“I’m not going to put on heavy makeup and try it out on stage again and not be able to do the real deal with remixes of my songs for years, begging to include my new music in my show for MY fans… so I quit!!! I don’t like that my sister showed up at an award show and performed MY SONGS to remixes.” Spears exclaimed in July.
In a new Instagram post published this week, Spears revealed further details about her creative freedom being restricted while under the conservatorship and how it has affected her life.
“I went for the phony denial ‘everything is wonderful’ strategy because I didn’t want to start a fuss. I was NICE, FAKE, and INSIDE, I was SCREAMING.” Spears continued, including several quotations about loyalty.
“I have been requesting to perform brand new songs and remakes of my previous work for 13 years,” she added. “For the past four years in Vegas I had two months off every year… And whenever I asked, I was always denied.
“It was a setup to see me fail, yet I understood exactly what my [fans] wanted to see and it didn’t make sense how network television programs were airing my music with remixes of all of my songs. Yet the person who owns the music is prohibited from releasing it. They also gave mixes to my sister but why was I always turned down?”
She followed up by describing her absence in further detail, noting that she’d only revealed “the surface issues.”
“So much time is wasted just to embarrass and humiliate me, which seems rather strange to most people now because I don’t do music anymore,” she added.
“People have no clue what I went through… and after everything I’ve been through, I’m scared of people and the industry. They really damaged me. It’s as if I’ve subconsciously conceded to them by stopping my music.”
Spears’ acknowledgment of her absence and music arrives just days after she teased a “new song in the works” in a post that thrilled fans.
On Dec. 22, Spears uploaded a video of herself singing her vocals and wrote, “Psss new song in the works … I’m gonna tell you exactly what I mean,” alongside a winking emoji.
In the same caption, which has now been deleted, Spears boasted of her achievements while savagely attacking her family.
“Yes… I will be my own cheerleader… why?” she asked. “I’m here to remind my white, ‘classy,’ family that I haven’t forgotten what they did to me and won’t forget anytime soon,” with a reference to her status as a “multi-platinum, Grammy Award-winning pop icon” who has sold over 90 million records globally.
In her most recent Instagram post, Spears recalled the accomplishments and explained that her compulsion to document them stemmed from “deep insecurities.”
She explained, “I obviously have deep insecurities if I acted like an obnoxious 8-year-old last week with accomplishments.”
“To be honest, my family embarrassed me and severely wounded me… so tooting my own horn and seeing my past accomplishments reflected back at me was truly beneficial,” she continued.
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